Those who don't learn from the past...

In my lifetime I have been blessed enough to have many of wonderful things. I think that my most precious and wonderful of these many things in my life would have to be Jaxx. For her, I would sacrifice anything and everything at her whim. She has been the blessed start to guide me and love me and even call herself my equal, which I found to be very humbling as I consider her way above me. However, I have been selfish in my ways and hadn't considered all she'd already sacrificed for me while I mention what I'd only do. I was just talking the talk while she was full on sprinting. 

Today I nearly lost her. That pain hit me so hard like a runaway train. I felt the air getting heavier and it hard to breathe as tears ran down my face. I thought for sure I'd lose the love of my life this day due to my own selfishness. I didn't want everything we had worked so hard to build to come crumbling down. Where did things go so bad that it had gotten to this? Why weren't we like this in the beginning? 

It then hit me. 

Why can't we go back to how we were in the beginning? We kept things simple and didn't know a lot about each other. We weren't in each others businesses. We'd go out on dates, hold hands, explore new places to go. I had come to realize we don't do much of this anymore. All we do is just 'hang out'. I'd become to wrapped up in trying to trump myself or those who gave her these gifts to realize she loves the smaller things in life more than the huge gifts. I asked her if she'd give it a shot to return to how we were. She agreed only if I would. More than anything I want my Jaxx to be that happy, loving, beautiful woman she truly is again. And so, it's time for me to tear down these walls and rebuild and strengthen the foundation we laid down. 

I know where my efforts must truly lie now, not where I'd like them to be but where I they need to be. 

And Jaxx... I love you with all of my heart and soul. It is true I cannot measure how much it is that I'm in love with you and I know that it blinds us and makes us dumb at times. I just want to say thank you for everything you've done and continue to do for me. You have my eternal gratitude.  

Holiday stress

Why do we feel the need to run out, blow all our money on items we don't even need just to please the people around us and avoid the guilt of not giving a gift to someone? I hate how embedded this practice has become in today's streamline society and how we are just sheep in the heard for it. I know most of you will say, "But I love this person and they love me, why wouldn't I go get them something they obviously deserved?" Why wouldn't you get them gifts ALL the time then instead of birthdays, holidays, anniversary's, etc. I think what is most upsetting is the stress it puts upon people. It's supposed to be the most merry time of the year but yet people turn into such huge pieces of shit because of all the added pressure on top of everyday life. Now it's just a huge holiday rush to see who can get the biggest and best gifts or the most expensive or the latest trends- JUST FUCKING STOP IT! Look around you and see what you have. If you have a family that loves you, a roof over your head, food to put in your belly, friends to hang out with, and a special significant other... You should be one merry motherfucker throughout the entire year. I got frustrated and started yelling at my Christmas tree because I couldn't find the connecting wires for the built in lights on it. Is that not a trait of someone psychotic!? Imagine if you saw that in public, some guy standing there yelling at a tree and telling it how dumb it is because it won't cooperate with him. I think you'd go back the way you came or cross the street. I think I'm mainly writing this because of Jaxx and all the extra stress we've been enduring especially under the holiday season. We're both very tight on money but want to do all these things with each other, but now we have to get gifts for everyone and their mothers (some quite literally). I just want to enjoy my holiday season this year and if I'm labeled a grinch or a scrooge, so be it. I have one gift I'm going to give and that's one amazing Christmas with my lovely lady Jaxx and I'll be God damned if anybody will stop me from doing that. 

Rant over


Thanks. 

Numbah Fif. Comedy for you yuks.

Oh how do I love comedy, mostly stand up comedy. I mean, even as we speak I'm listening to Bill Burrs Monday Morning podcast. I am SERIOUSLY in love with it. Sorry Jaxx. I cannot do without it. As I said before what brings us together more than anything? 

LAUGHTER YOU SHMUCKS.

Anyway, I guess this post is really about the comedians that I enjoy listening to and why. Let's start off this list. 

1. Louis C.K. - He features the style of, 'fuck it, I don't care...' type of attitude that most people just don't get or have. They think of Louie as a lazy, gross type of comedian but truly I see him as one who speaks his mind and just don't care of the consequences. More people should speak their minds I wholeheartedly believe. 

2. Bill Burr - Now, Jaxx doesn't really like him much. He's like Louis CK in a lot of ways but doesn't have kids so his material differs there. He also doesn't go as far as to say that he doesn't give a shit about his subject matters, because of the depth he goes to explain himself and his actions in the jokes. You really get a sense of 'why' as he goes through his material. He is also a little more crude and bitter (in my opinion) but overall funny in my book.

3. Jim Gaffigan - This seems like an odd choice for my number three considering my first two choices in their likeness. However, I do like variety in my comedy. Jim brings his styling's of food related humor and is really pro at it. I honestly get a huge crack out of it and how he delivers his lines to the audience. He also has a way of keeping his face stoic and not really laughing so much at his own material which shows how seasoned he is at it. 

I'll edit this later and add more to my list, probably till my top 10, but for now I need to review and ACTUALLY think on this list.  

Posting four. Redux. The difference between Men & Women Part Uno

I had posted earlier but decided to delete my thread due to it being lazily posted. Normally I can just come up with something off the top of my head and wing it from there but when it comes to my writing, I think I may need to have more time and understand of those who read it. 

My topic earlier was the difference between how men and women shop for gifts and I came off as pretty ignorant. So let's have a do over, shall we? 

Guys, we all know the stereotypes of women when they shop. They take forever, they want to find something perfect or within a price range, something catches their eye, etc. Well, it's not all entirely true. Today I had my eyes opened about some insight as to how some women work. A lot actually. What I have come to learn is that a lot of keep thought goes into play in what women shop for, especially when it's for someone else. To quote someone famous:

"Every person I buy a gift for, I have went completely out of my way to blow their minds with gifts. I always put deep thought in the type of person they are, the things they like, and the things they may need. I took all of that into consideration as I tried to find gifts for them. I wanted to wow them, surprise them, and get that sense of deep satisfaction that I made them happy." -Jaxx Monroe 

This pretty much says it all. So, the next time us guys try to moan and grown, remember, they go into a lot more detail than we do. 

Now, as for the ladies... You must understand that we don't tend to know this type of information! We're simple true and through even if we try to be complex about it. If you think we are, you're seriously over thinking and need to get a refund about how to understand men from the bookstore you got it from. Don't ask for store credit, get a cash refund. Then go buy a thoughtful gift. 

If you're unsure about what to get a guy, you first need to stop and punch yourself in the head. Why? So you'll stop over thinking so much. You won't do that? Well, then take a breath and follow your own advice. Use that gut feeling. Seriously. We do it all the time when shopping for you and most of the time it works out well. See, we have a view of practical and tactical. Those gift types really work out for us and it's how we function. There are times we're we go deep down and use our feelings to find you something, but it's close to the heart and we don't do it ALL the time unless you're just awesome and deserve it. Here's an example: Your guy likes to workout. Does he gym it or at home or both? At home too? Perfect. Dumbbells  workout mats, workout clothing, etc. See how it works? It's quite simple. You don't have to go out of your way to get something super special like arnold schwarzenegger's autographed speedo. Yeah, that WAS a graphic example, but you get it. 

Simplified: ladies like to think deep, analyze aspects of someones life, make it special and meaningful which is awesome in its own right.

More simplified: Men like to think practical, how can this person use it each day, will it help them to further themselves, does it have meaning to this person, is it too cheap? Yeah we think that too. 

Now, this doesn't mean that THIS IS EXCLUSIVE THINKING. So, don't get all butthurt and say, "This isn't an accurate respresentatio-" shut the hell up it's an opinion on the internet, bottom line.

Now, I'm off to go make a delicious dinner, jealous? 

Thanks.

Just in case you didn't imagine the speedo thing.

A third post? Woah, looks like he might just enjoy this thing...

"It all boils down to hate"

During my time on this beautiful little planet we call Earth, I have seen much in only the short span of 21 years. One of the things I constantly see though is bashing on each other in some way, shape, or form. It boils down to hate essentially. Why does it exist? How can something evil like this go on? Why doesn't peace work? I don't have the answers you seek honestly, but I may have a simple solution that requires you to go out of your comfort zone. What is the one thing that brings people together more than anything else on this Earth? (It's not love you sap... Technically)

Laughter

Why did the chicken cross the road? To give a lame pun to make your day seem brighter even when it feels darker. I implore you that if you don't already listen to comedy, you really should. Specifically stand up comedy. I have found so many comedians that Jaxx and I both share and have tons of laughter over and I'm sure there is a style for you out there. 

Give a shot, you fuck. I KNOW you have the time for it. 

I've been in such foul moods heading to the gym to work it out, but by the time I got there I was feeling so much better due to the fact that I'd just listen to some Bill Burr crack on about dogs with balls or Louis C.K. make fun of how shitty he feels but can have a laugh about it. Laughter is such a powerful thing that really does bind us all. It's something we ALL share. Think about this, if you go to a comedy show, you're sitting with hundreds maybe thousands of other people you DON'T KNOW and laughing about the same thing! And not once would you go, "Haha, oh this guys funny, but I'm still mad over pointless shit that doesn't even matter anymore." 

It is my true belief that we can connect through laughter if we first learn to laugh at ourselves, laugh with each other, and share it with the world. 

So, go have a laugh, just might make your day or someone elses.

 Thanks.

Post number deuce. You're lucky bitches.

I'm not sure if a fellow blogger of mine will be posting about these kick ass mozzarella triangles we had earlier, so I'll start out with that. I went out earlier with my lovely lady friend, and for anonymity sake and what she goes by is called, "Jaxx". Anyway, Jaxx and I had an amazing time at a place called Carmella's. The place was decorated to have a NY/Italy theme to it, which I don't know much about but it sure did look amazing to me. We get seated and we talk for a bit and one discussion really stood out with me and that was the fact about being fiscally responsible, especially with me currently out of work and looking. I had some pen money (laymen terms for money to spend and tip with) and wanted to take her out for a nice date, but she can be a little weird about it. It was a little moot to talk about it considering we had already sat down and placed an order and couldn't just get up and leave... Or could we. No, we can't and you shouldn't either if you do that, don't be an asshole. Besides that, Jaxx had one hell of a craving for mozzarella sticks anyway. These weren't sticks, these were triangles. Four big triangles of fried mozzarella sticks were delivered to our table and it was probably the best thing I had all night. I'm still craving it. Why was it good? It could be the fact they sprinkled with crack so I want more? No, they MADE their cheese. Home made cheese. Yeah, wipe that drool off your screen. We ate our pizza after that and went to the store and had an adventure where we made a concoction of diabetes and heart disease in a bowl but totally worth it. Oreo ice cream, chips ahoy cookies, hot fudge and caramel, along with cherries on top. All and all a great night with my lovely lady. Now, I'm off to game for a bit and pass out and train hard tomorrow. Perhaps I'll give some more insight on my training and more martial arts. Till then,

Thanks.    

The first obligatory post of my blog.

The first obligatory post of my blog. Sure, let's see how this works out. I don't have much of anything special to say or anything much to say for that matter so I guess I'll just ramble on. Why not? I guess some introductions are in order. I'm 21 and trying to make it, but life is hard. "Tough shit kid, deal with it." Don't worry sir/madam, I am. One day at a time. I live and love martial arts, thus the name you've seen for my blog ID. I've been studying taekwondo, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, kickboxing for the past 3 years now. I hold a black belt in TKD and a blue belt in BJJ.

After BJJ practice

Already this feels awkward because I'm better at rambling if I'm in person versus typing on the computer because it feels like a report. It's something I guess I'll get use to but today, sorry folks but you're not getting anything uplifting or inspiring because my brain isn't working fully right now. I'm sure you could be doing something productive instead of reading this... Like adopting a cat, or dusting, or finding your missing socks so you can finally match them up. Anyway, where was I... I live and breathe martial arts and I teach as well. I love to teach and pass on knowledge because it's the only real impact you can have on this world I firmly believe without having to go to extreme lengths to make yourself known. 

I'll keep this post short, I already have ONE person wanting to read it and hopefully I'll get more comfortable doing this as well as growing an audience to look at my goofy pics as well as read my random stuff. 

Thanks.