Since we last spoke, my dear...

It has been quite some time since I last updated this blog of mine. Hell, most of the time I had forgotten about it. A lot has happened in this year span. 

Let's start off by saying that I am no longer where I use to be. Meaning, I moved out from my old mans place into a new one under really bad terms. 

I found a career path to follow which seems to fit me quite well! I decided I would go into firefighting and the first step towards that goal is becoming an EMT first. I am halfway through the program and will have clinicals coming up all throughout the month of April, taking over my precious weekend times. I'm glad that I have found a path for my life to follow and with such focus at that. I truly feel like I am giving it my all to which I have not done in quite some time towards something. 

Other big things I have achieved is earning my 2nd degree black belt in Taekwondo this past November. I was also promoted to a Certified Instructor. However, things kind of fell apart there too once I chose my career path. After all, which is going to come first in this case? 

Lastly, Jaxx and I are still together, though we've had many very difficult and rough patches. I love her with all of my heart and will never stop loving her. She truly is my best friend, my lover, my partner, the one I want to walk side by side with. 

You may be saying to yourself tl;dr. This is crap. Why'd you leave us C.K.!? Well, priorities changed! Sorry folks, but that's life for you! I can promise you I'll be writing in here more often, expressing myself towards my anonymous viewers who are bored enough to read this too or who have nothing else better to do with themselves (You know, there is an 'outside' though I've heard it's very hot right now. You're right, screw that shit). 

Fucking Florida...

MEGACON '14!!!

My inner nerd is totally geeking out! This was our first year that we got to go to Megacon. Jaxx, myself, and another unnamed friend decided to go upon a whim. And I have to say it was the best winging it idea 

EVER.

Tons of cosplay, lots of merchandise, and did I mention that KARL URBAN (Dredd, Star Trek, Chronicles of Riddick, Red, LORD OF THE FREAKING RINGS!!!) was there too! 

Interesting story about that. We were sitting and eating lunch when our unnamed friend looks up and proclaims, "Is that Karl Urban!?". We turn and look to see Karl Urban with a bunch of other celebrities just strolling along not 25ft away from where we're eating lunch. Just a smile and a wave as he passed by. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't even think. I was truly star struck. I mean, he's freakin DREDD! He is, THE LAW!

Anyway, I'm jumping ahead in my story BUT I JUST HAD TO SHARE WITH YOU GUYS... I know, still geeking out! 

No, our story starts out with me picking up Jaxx and us heading over to our unnamed friends house. I think we should give him a name though, it seems a little rude doesn't it? Let's just call him... Moneybags. Anyway, Ol' Moneybags ups and decides that we should go to Megacon a week before it happened(which Jaxx nor myself could afford at that time). He said for us not to worry and that he'd cover us fully. I feel totally indebted to him after going to this wonderful event. We arrive at his place and carpool to get there. When we arrive however, there is a HUGE line to park and from what we could see driving to get into the line to park, there was a LONG line to enter in the building itself. Jaxx was particularly worried that we wouldn't be able to enter in because she had seen before on the website that there were a limited number of tickets to enter on that Saturday. Anyway, we find our parking spot and start heading towards the back of the line which wasn't too far from where we parked at. The line was moving too at a good pace and we were early enough to have a good spot. While waiting, we met a couple in line cosplaying from Resident Evil, and I have to say they we're pretty awesome. 

Around 10 O'Clock the doors opened and the convention began. Jaxx was nervous and wanted to post that we were at Megacon but wouldn't until we actually had the tickets in hand. We got closer and closer, seeing all sorts of wickedly cool cosplay! From animes, to cartoons, gaming characters... You name it, we most likely saw it. Our ADHD was way out of control. We wanted pictures with everyone, and people were happy to oblige us! If you ever go to a con, don't expect fat smelly dorky looking nerds who are so full of themselves or in their own little world. These 'nerdy' people make you feel welcome and right at home, especially if you're new to the whole con thing. They're happy to share stories, laughter, and especially general excitement towards all that's going on. Even veterans to the cons are extremely inviting and just as enthusiastic as the newbies. 

Anyway, to cut the story short we got in (of course) with PLENTY of tickets to spare. I think it was just a gimmick to get more people down here earlier and buy more tickets. But who am I to judge marketing tactics. Lookin' at you Blizzard. 

First thing we did was check out all the merch they had, which there is TONS. A note to anyone wanting to go next year or to any con, have mula in hand or at the ready. Lots of cool stuff, but a little pricey. Worth it though. After checking out some merch, scoring a FREE SUPERMAN BUTTON (Freakin' sweet swag!), and getting some more pictures in with awesome cosplayers we decided to go eat. This is where the story of Karl Urban comes into play. After that escapade, we ventured forth! I got to see celebrities like Phil Lamar, Jim Cummings, Jon Heder, Matt Senreich (co-creator of Robot Chicken so you don't have to google it), Peter Mayhew (Mother F'n CHEWBACA!), ROB PAULSON (Animaniacs!), Steven Yuen (Funny story about him later in my story), Wil Wheaton, Vic Mignogna, Danai Gurira & David Morrissey (Walking Dead fans will know), and many more. I even heard of Stan Lee making an appearance this time but in a different part of the con. Somewhere, hidden away if you venture far enough an a perilous journey... You can find The Stan Lee. 

Anyway, more to come in Part 2 of my Megecon adventure, stay tuned! 

Thanks. 

Woah it's been a while, BEARDleave it or not.

It's that time! Sorry I haven't been posting much lately. To be honest I've just been REALLY lazy and haven't felt like it, but it's not fair to you few who get such pleasure from reading my dumb blog. Anyway, I thought I should give you ladies and gents an update on the BEARD. 

At work. MAXIMUM BEARDAGE

It is coming in nice and thick and I am in love with it. It's become a big part of my identity now and who I am. This beard isn't going anyway and Jaxx loves it like that (though she wishes I had more tattoos to go along with it). 

Nearly 3 months since I start growing it out, but not entirely sure of the exact date. I cannot wait to see it in twice that amount of time. 

Until next time, 

Thanks.

Nerd Power!

It may come as no surprise to some of you that I am in fact a huge nerd. I love F&SF beyond measure and I have spent many of daydreams in these wonderlands while working, training, or doing other misc. things. I still go around when I find a pole and pretend it's a lightsaber or a magical staff to conjure creatures or cast spells. I LOVE video games even though I don't play them as much. Watching a let's play is something you can find me doing often, especially when it's a game I can't afford or don't have the system to play it with (I will get a 3DS! I miss you Pokemon). In fact, I use to play MMO's all the time. You probably already guessed it from what I just said too, I was a World of Warcraft nerd and proud of it too! For the Horde! Eat your heart out, Alliance. 

But alas, as I grew older and took on more responsibilities, my nerdish ways began to wane. It wasn't a bad thing, I was trying new and different things and being pushed out of my comfort zone. I found many new traits about myself that I absolutely love! I go workout, still do my martial arts, I work full time and are currently aiming to join the Air Force. However, I do miss a lot of these things. No Jaxx, not World of Warcraft. Rest assured. 

Recently, a buddy of mine, let's call him g-off, acquired a DND type of game. Role playing simplified. It is called, "Star Wars: Age of the Empire." Some of you might be familiar with it, if so, you're a nerd. I wasn't interested at first until I started reading it over. My imagination was sparked and I started thinking of all these different scenarios in my head of epic battles, different worlds and exploration. I wasn't fully settled until I found out I could be one of my favorite classes (doctor) in the game and have a story tied in with my favorite SW clans of history, the Mandalorians. Ugh! I was roped in! It was an offer too good to refuse. 

I wrote a kick ass back story for my character, "Aden Colten". The name rings of badassery even though he's a doctor. Sold into slavery on Nar Shadda after his father ended up on the wrong end of a blaster to a couple of Mandalorian mercenaries, he honed his skills in the medical field to quickly patch up and heal those who the mercs had roughed up a little too much. Though he despised fighting, he was trained in basic melee weaponry and light range pistols from a young age. He holds an unknown linage with a mysterious ancient relic he hid on his home planet of Dantooine left to him by his mother who died while giving birth. Now in the services of Borga's the Hutt, what adventures will await Aden and his comrades?  

Jealous? Thought so. But to think I could keep this hidden from Jaxx was another thing. You think I could force persuade her to forget? Her mind is far from weak, and I enjoy being on her 'light side' if you will. So I eventually told her of my involvement and much guffawing ensued from her. I still think she gets a chuckle if I mention it. I swear, anything nerdy I mention to her that I do I become her personal stand up comedian. But hey, I have some positives from it. She gets a good laugh, I still get to be all out nerdy AND she finds me to be sexy as well. Incredible! I know! 

If you read this and you can relate, I am really glad you can. If you don't feel you can because you feel like you're too much of an outcast or not even close to being nerdy enough, I dare you to try it. What's the worst that could happen, you have fun? For the outcast, you guys are awesome. Forget the haters honestly. For the non-seasoned newbie nerds, you guys are our mentors in a sense. The Master and the Padawan (yeah, I said it). 

So whether you're into card games like Magic the Gathering, video gamer on consoles or PC's, a role player, larper, comic book fancier, TV, movies, etc. Keep on doing what you do if it makes you happy. And remember, nerd is the new sexy.

Adhered to growing out the beard. Part 2.

It's been over a week since I last posted and possibly longer about my beard (I'm sure there is a pun in there somewhere). I've completely overcome my itchy phase of growing out the beard and now it's gotten to the point of being brushed. I wake up each morning and while getting ready to head to work I quickly get my long stubble wet and brush it down or neatly as I can. It's not too effective at this moment though. I have been given a nickname now too, as dubbed by my lovely lady Jaxx. I am now known as, "Capt'n Red Beard". 

I honestly don't see it. 

Anyway, more updates to come soon! 


Thanks.

Overcoming anger through writing

It is Jan. 27th, 11 p.m. 

I have not had the best of days today, and I could not honestly tell you why. I just feel like I'm so low and so angry, but I have nothing to point a finger at (middle finger that is). Jaxx has told me that writing will help to resolve this issue as well. To this I will try, for my special lady. 

For a long time I have buried and pushed aside my emotions, bottling them up and focusing them when I go to workout and push myself at the gym to become better. I honestly feel better, but it's only a temporary thing. It's the same when I go to my dojo as well, except I'm surrounded by family who help me to release it more or just let it go, because whatever that current issue it really wasn't that important to hang onto it. However, I still have deep seeded anger in me with roots that go even deeper. I believe there are just SOME things that trigger subconscious memories. They can happen within a split second in my head and put me in a mood which leads me to a path of being irritated easier and angered more frequently. 

I know it will take many years of healing in order for this phenomenon to subside, thankfully it's a rare occurrence. 

Now, onto the rant part.

Where in the FUCK are my friends when I need them?! I don't usually call on them for help but today I did. I called on them before I mentioned it to Jaxx that I was having issues today. She deserves a break, doesn't she? No response from my sisters at all. Not a fuckin' peep. Yet, whenever THEY have issues, I'm there for them in a heartbeat. Drop whatever it is I'm doing to immediately go see them because that's what type of guy I am. 

They won't see this and if I do show them, I'll edit this way ahead of time but... FUCK YOU!!! YOU'RE NEVER THERE WHEN I NEED IT MOST. YOU CAN'T EVEN ANSWER A PHONE CALL OR A SIMPLE TEXT NOR DO YOU EVER RETURN THEM! YOU UNRELIABLE BITCHES!!!

I'm agitated with them at the moment, and they'll never know until it's passed. Lucky them I guess. 

As I mentioned before I told Jaxx what was going on and initially she was receptive to it and understood. I think she was glad that I told her about what was happening with me. However, my mood seem to elevate when talking to her, but after a good while it went back down to where it was. I guess it was my fault for not mentioning to her that I still wasn't in the greatest of moods. I tried again to just let it go and talk to her. Play romantic, laugh, talk about things she posted up on Facebook, etc. However, the sarcasm and one worded answers to certain things weren't helping. I get it, she was busy studying and working on other things which are important.

This last thing she said to me though, really didn't feel good at all. Now, I'm not sure if I irritated her or not earlier, I won't assume anything. At the end when I said to her, "Goodnight babe, I love you." she responded with, "Mhm".

It felt like such a huge slap in the face to me. I doesn't matter how irritated you are, if someone says I love you to you, you better say it back to them. Three words. Eight letters. EXTREMELY powerful. I hold those three words combined in that manner to highest regard and have learned NEVER to through it around and to say it only if you really mean it. 

I did let her know it upset me though and said I was sorry if I happened to upset her and wished her a good night after that.

I did have one good friend who gave me some solid advice after all this and currently is talking to me. My good buddy who we'll call Redjar told me the following.

we all have our moments man, sometimes it's deep within, sometimes it's nothing at all. There's nothing wrong with you, you are C.K. and always will be.Cry if you need to, shout if you need to , whatever it takes because the rage can eat you alive. But let it out my friend, for these are the moments that truly make you strong.

And so I am. I let it out on here, for the whole internet to see, whether they care or not. I also started to cry when he told me that. I do feel much better now and I hope that not if, but when this issue arises again I will have Jaxx and Redjar, my true friends there for me, and perhaps a notepad to help me write it all out. 


Thanks.

Adhered to growing out the beard. Part 1.

As I stated in my previous post, change is imminent. The change I speak of is growing a beard, for one. Jesus Christ is this an ordeal. There are many stages of growing a beard and having tolerate the challenges of growing one. The first few stages are difficult enough like if you can even grow a beard. Some people just CANNOT grow a beard to save their life, which can suck if you have a baby face. Others are like Native Americans, a-patch-e here, a-patch-e there. And then there are lumberjacks. Full beard after a clean shaven face in a day or so. I do not fall into any of these categories. I can grow my facial hair normally most of the time, but tend to shave it off because of how itchy it can get. I have managed to grow a goatee before though with much success and likes from Lady Jaxx. 

For now though, I start my journey to grow out a full size beard and possibly grow a great one like Incredibeard or Rick F'n Hall. That is, if I can get past the itchy bitchy phase. Wish me luck going stubble to itchy troubles. More to come soon!

Thanks.